
Fighting Against Yourself, Forever
M. Zakyuddin Munziri
@zakiego
Originally written in Bahasa Indonesia.

M. Zakyuddin Munziri
@zakiego
Originally written in Bahasa Indonesia.

If I could meet my 18-year-old self, I’d remind him that knowing a future exists is sometimes enough to keep moving.

Men are valued for the results of their efforts, not the effort itself. They learn to hold back their voice, swallow their exhaustion, and hide their anxiety so they don’t burden anyone. Yet in their hearts, they need someone who will simply listen.
In his Instagram bio, my friend Akbar wrote, "its me against me".
Time truly spins as it pleases, rotating circumstances far from their starting point.
If today we say A, then tomorrow, perhaps we say B. As a result, we truly don't need to seek enemies to fight, because throughout time, we will be fighting against ourselves.
It took me quite some time before I could finally understand the meaning of "its me against me". Although I—at least—know fairly well how the human mind works, still, I cannot fully control it.
In its battle, feelings always manage to find the perfect moment to land their hardest punch on us. Destroying us completely. Then afterward, feelings act as if they were the victim. Ah, damn it. Such skilled actors.